Alcoholism Treatment Step Three

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Alcoholism Treatment Step Three Exercise Online

You have come a long way in the alcohol addiction program, and you can feel proud of yourself. You have decided that you are powerless over mood-altering chemicals and that your life is unmanageable. You have decided that a Higher Power of some sort can restore you to sanity. In Step Three, you will reach toward God—the God of your own understanding. You will consider using God as your Higher Power. This is the miracle that you have been searching for. It is the major focus of the AA/NA program. This is a spiritual program that directs you toward the ultimate truth. It is important that you be open to the possibility that there is a God. It is vital that you give this concept room to blossom and grow. The “Big Book” says, “That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. That God could and would if He were sought” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976, p. 60).

Step Three should not confuse you. It calls for a decision to correct your character defects under spiritual supervision. You must make an honest effort to change your life.

The AA program is a spiritual program. About the Big Book, it states, “Its main object is to enable you to find a power greater than yourself that will solve your problem” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976, p. 45). Both AA and NA clearly state that the God of your understanding is the answer. If you are willing to seek God, then you will find God. That is God’s promise.

UNDERSTANDING THE MORAL LAW

All spirituality has, at its core, what is already inside of you. You do not have to look very far for God. Your Higher Power lives inside of you. Inside of all of us there is inherent goodness. In all cultures, and in all lands, this goodness is expressed in what we call the moral law. The law demands love in action and in truth. It is simply stated as follows: Love God all you can, love others all you can, and love yourself all you can. This law is very powerful. If some stranger were drowning in a pool next to you, then this internal law would motivate you to help. Instinctively, you would feel driven to help, even if it put your own life at risk. The moral law is so important that it transcends our instinct for survival. You would try to save that drowning person. This moral law is exactly the same everywhere and in every culture. It exists inside of everyone. It is written on your heart. Even among thieves, honesty is valued.

When we survey religious thought, we come up with many different ideas about God and how to worship God, but if we look at the saints of the various religions, they are living practically indistinguishable lives. They all are doing the same things with their lives. They do not lie, cheat, or steal; they believe in giving to others before giving to themselves; and they try not to be envious of others. To believe in your Higher Power, you must believe that this good exists inside of you. You also must believe that there is more of this goodness at work outside of you. If you do not believe in a living and breathing God at this point, do not worry. Every one of us has started where you are.

All people have a basic problem: We break the moral law, even if we believe in it. This fact means that there is something wrong with us. We are incapable of following the moral law as we want to. Even though we would consider it unfair for someone to lie to us, occasionally we lie to someone else. If we see someone dressed in clothes that make the person look terrible, we might tell that person that he or she looks good. This is a lie, and we would not want other people lying to us like that. In this and other situations, we do not obey the very moral law that we know is good. We might even stand there and watch that person drown.

You must ask yourself several questions. Where did we get this moral law? How did these laws of behavior get started? Did they just evolve? The program of AA/NA believes that these good laws comes from something good and that there is more of this good at work in the universe. People in the program believe that people can communicate with this good, and they call this good God.

We do not know everything about the Higher Power. Much of God remains a mystery. If we look at science, we find the same thing: Most of science is a mystery. We know very little about the primary elements of science such as gravity, but we can make judgments about these elements using our experience. No one has ever seen an electron, but we are sure that it exists because we have some experience of it. It is the same thing with the Higher Power. We can know that there is a power greater than ourselves if we have some experience of this power. Both science and spirituality necessitate a faith based on experience.

There emerges in people, as naturally as the ability to love or hate, the ability to experience God. The experience cannot be taught. It is already there, and it must be awakened. It is primal, already planted, and awaiting growth. God is experienced as a force that is alive. This force is above and more capable than humans. God is so good, pure, and perfect that God obeys the moral law all of the time. The experience of the Higher Power brings with it a feeling of great power and energy. This can be both attractive and frightening, but mainly you will find that God is loving. God has contacted humans through the ages and has said, “I am. I exist.”

Instinctively, people know that if they can get more of this goodness, then they will have better lives. Spirituality must be practical. It must make your life better or else you will discard it. If you open yourself up to the spiritual part of the program, then you will feel better immediately.

God knows that if you follow the law of love, then you will be happy. God makes love known to all people. It is born in everyone. The consequence for breaking the law is separation from God. This separation is experienced as deep emotional pain. We feel isolated, empty, frightened, and lonely.

God tells us that God is hungry for your love. God desires a deep personal relationship with you. All people have a similar instinctive hunger for God. By reading this exercise, you can begin to develop your relationship with God. You will find true joy here if you try. Without some sort of a Higher Power, your recovery will be more difficult. A Higher Power can relieve your chemical dependency problem like nothing else can. Many people achieve stable recovery without calling their Higher Power God. That certainly is possible. There are many wonderful atheists and agnostics in our program, but the AA/NA way is to reach for some sort of a God of your own understanding.

You can change things in your life. You really can. You do not have to drown in despair any longer. No matter who you are, God loves you. God is willing to help you. Perhaps God has been waiting for you for a long time. Think of how wonderful it is. There is a God. God created you. God loves you. God wants you to be happy. Open yourself up to this experience.

THE KEY TO STEP THREE

The key to working Step Three is willingness—the willingness to turn your life over to the care of God as you understand God. This is difficult for many of us because we think that we are in control. We are completely fooled by this delusion. We believe that we know the right thing to do. We believe that everything would be fine if others would just do things our way. This leads us to deep feelings of resentment and self-pity. People would not cooperate with our plans. No matter how hard we tried to control everything, things kept getting out of control. Sometimes the harder we worked, the worse things got.

You are not in control, and you never have been in control. Your Higher Power is in control. God is the only one that knows about everything. God created you and the universe. Chemically dependent persons, in many ways, are trying to be God. They want the universe to revolve around them. “Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976, p. 62).

HOW TO TURN IT OVER

To arrest chemical dependency, you have to stop playing God and let your Higher Power take control. If you sincerely want this and you try, it is easy to do so. Go to a quiet place and talk to your Higher Power about your chemical dependency. Say something like this: “God, I am lost. I can’t do this anymore. I turn this situation over to you.” Watch how you feel when you say this prayer. The next time you have a problem, stop and turn the problem over to your Higher Power. Say something like this: “God, I can’t deal with this problem. You deal with it.” See what happens.

As you ask for God’s will to be done, you will find the right direction. God knows the way for you. If you follow your Higher Power, then you never will be lost again. God will encourage you to see the truth, and then God will leave the choices up to you. You always can decide. God wants you to be free. God wants you to make all of your own decisions, but God wants to have input into your decisions. Your Higher Power wants to show you the way. If you try to find the way by yourself, then you will constantly be lost. God promises that if you will follow God’s plan, then God will see to it that you receive all of the desires of your heart. God knows exactly what you need.

Step Three offers no compromise. It calls for a decision. Exactly how you surrender, and turn things over, is not the point. The important thing is that you are willing to try. Can you see that it is necessary to give up your self-centeredness? Do you see that it is time to turn things over to a power greater than yourself?

List the things that you have to gain by turning your will and your life over to a Higher Power.

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Why do you need to turn things over?

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We should not confuse organized religion with spirituality. In Step Two, you learned that spirituality deals with your relationship with yourself, others, and God. Religion is an organized system of faith and worship. It is person-made, not God-made. It is humans’ way of interpreting God’s plan. Religion can be very confusing, and it can even drive people away from God. Are old religious ideas keeping you from God? If so, then how?

A great barrier to your finding God may be impatience. You may want to find God right now. You must understand that your spiritual growth is set by God and not by you. You will grow spiritually when God thinks that you are ready. Remember that we are turning this whole thing over. Each person has his or her own unique spiritual journey. Each person must have his or her own individual walk. Spiritual growth, not perfection, is your goal. All you can do is seek the God of your understanding. When God knows that you are ready, God will find you. Total surrender is necessary. If you are holding back, then you need to let go absolutely. Faith, willingness, and prayer will overcome all of the obstacles. Do not worry about your doubt. Just keep seeking in every way you know how.

List 10 ways in which you can seek God. Ask your friends or counselor to help you.

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What does the saying “Let go and let God” mean to you?

What are some ways in which you can put Step Three to work in your life?

What things in your life do you still want to control?

How can these things be handled better by turning them over to your Higher Power?

List five ways in which you allowed chemicals to be the God in your life.

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How did your chemical use separate you from God?

What changes have you noticed in yourself since you entered the program?

Of these changes, which of them occurred because you listened to someone else other than yourself?

Make a list of the things that are holding you back from turning things over.

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How do you see God caring for you?

How do you understand God now?

HOW TO PRAY

Pray by reading the Step Three prayer once each day for a week. Say the words carefully out loud, and listen to yourself as you speak. Feel God’s presence with you, and when you are ready, begin to talk to God. Make prayer a dialogue, not a monologue. Talk to God and then listen for God’s answer to come to you inside of your thinking.

“God I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always!” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976, p. 63).

Listen for God in others. God may speak to you through them. Look for God’s actions in the group, in the weather, and in nature. Read scripture and seek God through your reading. Ask your counselor or your clergy person for some suggestions.

HOW TO MEDITATE

Take time to meditate each day. Sit in a quiet place for about 10 to 20 minutes and pay attention to your breathing. Ask God to come into your thinking and then empty your mind. Do not be nervous if there is only silence for a while. Listen for God’s message for you. Write down any words or images that come into your mind. Keep a log of each meditation for a week.

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Write down your spiritual plan. What are you going to do on a daily basis to help your spiritual program grow?

Trust that if you are seeking God, then God will find you—no matter who you are, no matter where you are. God loves you more than you can imagine. You are God’s perfect child, created in God’s image. God has great plans for you.

If you are unable to stay sober on your own, you are going to need some kind of treatment. If this happens, call us at 800-992-1921 for a free assessment. We will make sure that you get into the treatment that you need at a price you can afford.

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